Hi Wylie! I really liked your speech. You described the sister bond perfectly. You mentioned all the good things that come with it and all the difficult things, like bickering. I also liked that you incorporated personal stories, like you being able to be on a team with her. It made the speech feel very personal. The only thing I think you can work on is eye contact. Maybe you can move your notes closer to your computer.
Hey Wylie! I really liked the content of your speech- you can tell it was well thought out and organized. My biggest criticism for you would be to relax a little bit. You’re reading your notes off screen, and it means you don’t make a lot of eye contact, and your sentences feel more scripted than natural. The content is really wonderful, and its clear how much you love your sister, but I do think if your outline is full sentences, that you might try reducing them to smaller bullet points to help keep the flow natural. Great job!
The storytelling you did in this video was great and it really helped me understand what you and your sister were like. I like that you kept a steady and clear voice throughout this video, it made it very easy to listen to. One thing I would say you could work on is the eye contact, it seemed like you kept looking away. Maybe you were looking at your notes, but I don’t know for sure. Either way I think if you maintained your eye contact a little better, it would have made for a very natural and free flowing video.
Hi Beanie! I loved this eulogy. I could really tell that she meant a lot to you and you learned so much from her. Your tone and body language shows that you have a huge amount of respect for this woman. The only thing I can think about that you can work on is eye contact. Thank you for sharing.
I think you did a really good job of showing hoe much she means to you. I always love your energy in your videos, whether upbeat or more calm, I think your energy always matches the content. The only thing I can think of is eye contact but its hard because I think its a normal thing when telling a story that our eyes wander.
I think you did such a great job sharing the stories. I could really feel the emotion that you were sending through everything that you were saying. The way you spoke clearly, but with emotion shows how much this really meant to you. I think one thing you could work on is maintaining your eye contact a little more, but I know that it’s not easy to do that when talking about things like this at any point in time.
I think you maintained good eye contact throughout your video! I also think you did a good job of explaining the type of man your grandfather is and what he’s done for you over the years, he seems really great! You had a good pace through the video so the only thing I think could be improved is the length. Maybe adding in another significant story about the two of you to help hit the 3 mins!
You could really tell that your grandfather has meant a lot to you. You did great with the pace of your storytelling and you kept great eye contact throughout the video. Your voice was very clear when you were speaking, but maybe you could speak a little louder to make it easier to hear you throughout. I would also say you could possibly add a specific story about your grandfather to help you hit that 3 minute mark.
Hey Nick! I really enjoyed how you talked about your brother, and it’s easy to tell you respect and love him a lot. I noticed your video was just a few seconds over the 5min time limit, and I think tightening up an outline would be really helpful here, as it would cut down on the pauses you take between thoughts. Keeping your thoughts in order helps make it easier to move through the speech without having to stop and remember what you wanted to say next, which can be really helpful for people like us, who tend to pause and say “um” a lot. I would also suggest putting the two stories together, rather than having an interlude between them, which would help facilitate a more intro-body-conclusion format.
Hi Nick, I really liked your speech. I could tell that your brother means a lot t you. When you said, “idk how many highschoolers want to hang out with their younger brother,” it really stood out to me. It really shows how much he cares about you as well. Maybe for your final draft you can cut out filler words and have a cheat sheet of your outline to cut down the time. Remembering the order of the speech can be pretty tricky and I find this helpful. Great job!
I think you did a good job of telling significant stories of you and your brother! Our older siblings are great role models and teachers for us younger ones. You also had a good pace and got in to depth with your stories which got you to the 5 min mark. What I think could be improved is picking the memories that really made a difference in your life just so you don’t go over the 5 min mark!
16 thoughts on “CLOSED-WEEK 4-DBQ 2-TEAM B”
My link!
https://youtu.be/7mLxCBMPGcE
Hi Wylie! I really liked your speech. You described the sister bond perfectly. You mentioned all the good things that come with it and all the difficult things, like bickering. I also liked that you incorporated personal stories, like you being able to be on a team with her. It made the speech feel very personal. The only thing I think you can work on is eye contact. Maybe you can move your notes closer to your computer.
Hey Wylie! I really liked the content of your speech- you can tell it was well thought out and organized. My biggest criticism for you would be to relax a little bit. You’re reading your notes off screen, and it means you don’t make a lot of eye contact, and your sentences feel more scripted than natural. The content is really wonderful, and its clear how much you love your sister, but I do think if your outline is full sentences, that you might try reducing them to smaller bullet points to help keep the flow natural. Great job!
The storytelling you did in this video was great and it really helped me understand what you and your sister were like. I like that you kept a steady and clear voice throughout this video, it made it very easy to listen to. One thing I would say you could work on is the eye contact, it seemed like you kept looking away. Maybe you were looking at your notes, but I don’t know for sure. Either way I think if you maintained your eye contact a little better, it would have made for a very natural and free flowing video.
https://youtu.be/xfHFY-j1aYI
Here y’all go
Hi Beanie! I loved this eulogy. I could really tell that she meant a lot to you and you learned so much from her. Your tone and body language shows that you have a huge amount of respect for this woman. The only thing I can think about that you can work on is eye contact. Thank you for sharing.
I think you did a really good job of showing hoe much she means to you. I always love your energy in your videos, whether upbeat or more calm, I think your energy always matches the content. The only thing I can think of is eye contact but its hard because I think its a normal thing when telling a story that our eyes wander.
oh my gosh I meant “how” in the first sentence
I think you did such a great job sharing the stories. I could really feel the emotion that you were sending through everything that you were saying. The way you spoke clearly, but with emotion shows how much this really meant to you. I think one thing you could work on is maintaining your eye contact a little more, but I know that it’s not easy to do that when talking about things like this at any point in time.
Here is my link!
https://youtu.be/NxHQvAHM66A
I think you maintained good eye contact throughout your video! I also think you did a good job of explaining the type of man your grandfather is and what he’s done for you over the years, he seems really great! You had a good pace through the video so the only thing I think could be improved is the length. Maybe adding in another significant story about the two of you to help hit the 3 mins!
You could really tell that your grandfather has meant a lot to you. You did great with the pace of your storytelling and you kept great eye contact throughout the video. Your voice was very clear when you were speaking, but maybe you could speak a little louder to make it easier to hear you throughout. I would also say you could possibly add a specific story about your grandfather to help you hit that 3 minute mark.
Heres my link for speech 4
https://youtu.be/WF7zC7upMAg
Hey Nick! I really enjoyed how you talked about your brother, and it’s easy to tell you respect and love him a lot. I noticed your video was just a few seconds over the 5min time limit, and I think tightening up an outline would be really helpful here, as it would cut down on the pauses you take between thoughts. Keeping your thoughts in order helps make it easier to move through the speech without having to stop and remember what you wanted to say next, which can be really helpful for people like us, who tend to pause and say “um” a lot. I would also suggest putting the two stories together, rather than having an interlude between them, which would help facilitate a more intro-body-conclusion format.
Hi Nick, I really liked your speech. I could tell that your brother means a lot t you. When you said, “idk how many highschoolers want to hang out with their younger brother,” it really stood out to me. It really shows how much he cares about you as well. Maybe for your final draft you can cut out filler words and have a cheat sheet of your outline to cut down the time. Remembering the order of the speech can be pretty tricky and I find this helpful. Great job!
I think you did a good job of telling significant stories of you and your brother! Our older siblings are great role models and teachers for us younger ones. You also had a good pace and got in to depth with your stories which got you to the 5 min mark. What I think could be improved is picking the memories that really made a difference in your life just so you don’t go over the 5 min mark!