I like how she said that feedback is an opportunity to see how the world perceives us. I usually have a hard time with feedback because immediately I will deny and argue it just because I am embarrassed to be performing poorly. However, after time passes from receiving feedback I often come back to it and analyze it in an honest and open way. I a, going to work on being more open immediately and seeing the feedback as an opportunity to better myself.
Hi Reese,
Great points-Sheila also mentioned that when feedback is provided, the receiver is in charge. How a person takes in feedback reflects upon them. Usually when I receive feedback, at first I instinctually shut down to avoid any emotional reactions, but as time progresses, I try to remember to remain open to the message. I usually require some recovery time as well to reflect and then make some corrections.
I agree! When taking feedback, I think it is almost better to not respond right away and really think about it. I think that gives me time to improve as much as I can.
I like how she said that statement too, although I also take it in a negative way. When someone gives me constructive criticism it is suppose to be helpful, but it has always made me feel bad about myself for not doing as well as I thought I did. I too need to work on being open to feedback and finding it as an opportunity to do better and not finding it negative.
I agree with this completely! I have also experienced difficulty taking others feedback and actually listening to it. I usually either don’t agree with it or I have too much pride to change it. I also just think the concept of feedback is difficult in general because everyone has such a different way of thinking that one idea may sound great to me and could sound terrible to someone else. However, I also want to improve on my ability to listen to feedback because I do agree that it is very important to be open-minded and if you never take other’s criticism into account then it is harder to improve your work.
When I was a credit union manager, I had to constantly provide my staff feedback on a daily basis in order for the operations of the business to run effectively. Positive feedback was easier to offer, but constructive feedback was extremely challenging for me, since I am a sensitive person myself, who is exceedingly aware of my many faults. To overcome this, I would provide my feedback to employees in a gentle tutorial manner, or use my past mistakes as an anecdote. In my career, I haven’t experienced a blind spot that I know of, but perhaps that is because I am so critical of myself. When I receive critical feedback, it does take me some recovery time, but I usually put together a plan on how to improve.
I totally agree. I usually have a hard time giving constructive feedback especially when someone is trying their best. I usually try and give it in the most easy way or do what you said and refer to a mistake I had made that is similar to theirs. I also think it is hard to find blindspots within ourselves, because by definition we are blind to it.
Well said, those are some really good examples/approaches to giving constructive feedback. I really identify with what you said about the personal challenge when it comes to giving feedback, often times I also feel like ‘who am I to talk?’ when it comes to evaluating someone else’s work. With that being said, I also feel like using anecdotes from one’s own life is such a powerful, and useful, tool for providing meaningful feedback.
I absolutely agree! It is hard to give constructive criticism sometimes, especially if you are someone who feels deeply for others. I like how you admitted that it takes time to recover and improve after you receive feedback because it does take time to improve yourself and people don’t usually admit that making these improvements takes time!
At work, I often have to give feedback to my co workers on how we can improve the safety of the local pools. When giving this feedback I get anxious. This is because I do not want to discourage them or make them dislike me. I try to push past this because this is my job and it is important. Sometimes I will ask my co workers if they can think of anything we can improve on to open this conversation. I think this helps them become more comfortable offering feedback for me. I think making feedback a two way street is very crucial to the performance of myself and co workers. I like that Heen mentions that taking feedback well and in a constructive way changes the way people see you. I find this very true and admire people who can do this and try to mirror them.
Fiona, your comments made me revisit my thoughts about the risks and anxieties on the part of the feedback provider as well as the receiver. Although the receiver is in charge with what they do with feedback, providing feedback can have real consequences and risk hurting someone’s feelings, so I can see why so many of us dread or avoid it. Both parties become vulnerable during this process. I think that feedback is easier to take if we remember that the provider (in most cases) means no offense and is offering help to improve. It’s difficult to keep that mantra in the forefront though!
I absolutely get not wanting to be disliked, especially in a work environment. I love that you make it a conversation rather than a laundry list of things to change. Being able to open the floor to everyone and come up with collaborative criticism that is genuinely effective is a great skill to have, even if there is some anxiety beforehand. Knowing that it is not a personal situation is so much more different than not taking it as a personal situation, and it can be hard to differentiate, but it seems like you are very aware of your work environment and how you all best connect, which is a fantastic step in the right direction.
I really liked what you and the point you made about establishing reciprocal feedback. It can be so difficult to give constructive feedback to a person or coworker. Especially if it’s someone you do not know very well. However, once you build rapport with someone –like you said– it can not only become easier to give feedback, but it also makes it easier for them to give feedback to you!
How you said the “what we can improve on” versus you telling them exactly what you think is smart. It is like what she said when talking to others to say “what’s one thing I could do better”. Feedback is definitely a two way street and I think this is a good method to make that street less scary
I too find myself in this type of situation at work pretty often. I want others to know I mean well when I am giving feedback so that they like me and will want to use my feedback in a positive way. I like how you open up to your co-workers and ask if they believe there is anything that you can all do to improve your work environment. This is a good way to ensure that no one is getting singled out and you can all work together.
I relate to this a lot, when I worked in a kitchen there were times where I would have to give feedback to my coworkers as well because it was the sort of environment where if one person worked poorly it effected everyone else. I also had a very hard time with this because I was afraid that my coworkers would start to hate me! At the same time I agree that it is really important to also ask for their feedback so that everyones voice is heard and it makes working together way more bearable!
The most often time I am giving or receiving feedback is in an academic setting. Between my writing club and my classes, I often am giving and receiving feedback on writing. I’m not typically the advice giver nor the advice seeker, but when Heen was talking about how feedback is our relationship with the world, and how we do feedback as an emotional connection, it really resonated. Feedback is not just your boss asking you to sweep more, or your mom asking you to do more chores, it’s communicating with your partner, it’s personal. She also talks about letting yourself down and how much it can hurt to realize you are not living up to your own expectations. Feedback is such a tricky topic, and everyone has different communication styles that can make it really hard to give feedback to a wide variety of people. This is why I agree with her about receiving feedback as a skill. Learning how to take (well-intentioned) feedback is incredibly important for navigating the world.
Like you said feedback is very tricky since everyone has different communication styles. You could say the same thing to my sister and I and she will try to work harder and I will cry. This is because when I get feedback on something, it makes me realize that I was doing something wrong and it makes me shut down. If I were in a position where I had to give others feedback, like a teacher or coach, it would be difficult until you got to know peoples reactions. Yes, everyone should take feedback as a positive thing and an opportunity to get better but that is something that some need to learn.
I agree that feedback is much more than what we think. Feedback can even just be someone’s facial expression. I also feel like it is important to learn what feedback we should even take in before we learn to analyze and accept that feedback.
Being in a writing club seems like you do a lot of writing and giving feedback! It is good that you get a lot of practice with those types of things or assignments. I agree with you in believing that feedback is a skill, and it is very important in today’s society. In this world, if we can all work on the skill of positive feedback both giving and recieving, we can make a good change in the environment as we all come together.
I also believe that receiving feedback is a skill. I used to be the most stubborn, I’m right and you’re wrong type of guy when I was growing up playing hockey. I was once at a very high level and I had coaches telling me that I needed to improve certain areas of my game and that I need to get in the gym and start lifting weights to get to where I wanted to be. I never listened to feedback back then, but for the last few summers, I have been doing the things that coaches used to tell me to do and I have improved a lot ever since.
When giving and receiving feedback, I’ve always had more difficulty giving feedback, for sure. I’ve noticed this in writing workshops especially, it can be difficult to critique a peer’s work without feeling like you are criticizing the person by proxy. What Heen was discussing reminded me of a few terms I learned in a social psychology class I took the other semester. Namely, that there are two main construal: (1) we want to feel good about ourselves, and (2) we want to be accurate. However, these two construals often conflict. For instance, we want to give someone accurate feedback, but doing so might not make us –or them– feel good, and vice versa. Furthermore, when receiving feedback, we might opt to ignore the feedback. Ignoring this feedback can keep us from tarnishing our ego’s and maintain those positive views of ourselves. However, this can lead to inaccurate self-perceptions.
These are great points, and it’s really cool that you are bringing a psych perspective into this. I agree that these two construals can definitely be at odds with each other, and learning that there can be balance is an important step in developing feedback skills, both in giving and receiving. The ability to understand that accurate feedback can be delivered in a gentle manner, and that kind feedback may be inaccurate is really important to understand. It’s an important balance between the two, and being able to walk that line down the middle of accurate and fair, but still kindly worded and not-harsh feedback is ultimately the goal of developing these skills.
I really like how you got into the psychologic aspect of accepting feedback from others. Taking it can be really hard sometimes, especially when you are already proud of your work. Your comment made me realize how it is natural to push feedback away to protect one’s ego. It also made me realize that it is something everyone needs to work on to be professional. I think maybe this can be done by choosing our words carefully because the goal is not to crush someone’s ego.
Henry, your comment made me think a lot about the psychology behind giving feedback. I had never thought of the relationship between being kind and being accurate, and these two ideas do often collide during peer review. I also find negative feedback hard, because I would prefer to leave my peers feeling good about their accomplishments. Your point on ignoring feedback is powerful as well. I definitely tend to do this, especially if I worked hard on something and only received criticisms, people like to be rewarded for their hard work through praise and when that doesn’t happen it’s often easier to just ignore the feedback altogether.
I agree with how you have a harder time giving feedback than receiving it. Even when you know that the feedback that you are going to give someone is accurate and could help them, it’s always hard to think about seeing their face when you tell them that they need to do something better than they are currently doing it.
It opened my eyes when she said we’ve taught givers how to give feedback, but not how to receive it. Maybe that is why it is so much easier to give someone feedback than receive it. An example of giving feedback for me academically is in classes like this where I have to respond to my peers. Everyone is always super positive and supportive of each others work and it makes it easier to give and receive feedback. I think it will be difficult when this week we have to comment on speeches and say what they could do to improve their speech. This will be difficult because I don’t want to hurt anyones feelings. How I can manage this difficulty is to really highlight what they are doing well and what works for them. An example of receiving feedback I can think of in my personal life is when my grandmother says something as little as not liking the holes in my jeans. When I was younger, it use to make me really upset and it made me feel like she was mad at me for doing something wrong. In her eyes, all she was saying is she didn’t like my jeans because when she was growing up holes in your jeans meant you couldn’t afford new ones without holes and she just thought I needed new ones. Over the years, I have explained to her that this is a style of jeans now and she understands it more. Now if she says it, it doesn’t hurt my feelings and I just remind her that this is how jeans are made now and the conversation is over. If we were taught how to receive feedback at a young age, we could use it as a positive and agree or we could stand up for ourselves. Instead, we take it negatively and either say something back we will regret or get upset. I think I have taught myself over the years to not take feedback so personally and to use it to help better myself.
I definitely agree that giving feedback is more difficult than receiving it. I want to help others improve, but it’s hard to know what they might take personally. Relating to your example, I think most people receive negative feedback from people closest to them. It may be upsetting to hear at first, but it’s helpful to see it from their perspective like you did with your grandmother.
I believe feedback is a very important tool in life. Feedback can always be given, it is just a matter of the fact if an individual decides to use it and apply the feedback given. I personally like to both give and receive feedback often. Giving feedback can be really important, especially when things need to be done a certain way like at a job or something. I experience this almost every day. I am a manager at a part-time job and have to train all of the new people who get hired. It is really important for me to be giving them feedback on how they are doing so that they know what they should or shouldn’t be doing. I manage to give feedback in the most positive way possible to others. I do not want my feedback to get taken the wrong way or upset anyone. I try to do so by saying it in a nice tone and smiling. In a school setting, I think feedback is crucial as well. This helps individuals in a class given the same assignment sort of help each other out in potentially getting a better grade, by giving feedback on things that could be touched up if they decide to take it. I like to hear what my classmates have to say about my work because I find it helpful and useful.
I like that you give a lot of feedback to people that you are training at your job. I can appreciate it because I have a boss and co worker that is like you and gives me a lot of feedback on how I am doing and improving. It is very helpful every time because it gives me a sense of reassurance that I am on the right path. I also find a lot of value in learning and taking the feedback from them because they have been in my shoes before at a low level and really know what it takes to keep making those strides forward in their job.
I really like how she opened the topic of feedback up and mentioned how it is essentially our relationship with the world. When I think of feedback I usually think of getting a grade back on an essay or working in peer review groups but in reality we receive and give feedback on a daily basis. I’ve always hard a difficult time both receiving and feedback so I was not surprised when I heard that other people dreaded it just as much. For me, I just don’t like getting feedback because it stresses me out when people look at my work but I also have a hard time giving it because I don’t want to be too critical. I want to get better at both of these skills because it really stuck with me when she mentioned how those who go out and solicit negative feedback actually perform better in their careers and other aspects of life.
Giving both positive and negative feedback can be extremely challenging for many people (including myself.) I don’t typically focus on how my peers could improve, because I would rather focus on the positives. Giving constructive criticism is challenging because it forces me to focus on the negative aspects of that person’s skills. Giving feedback is a very important tool in helping you and your peers advance. In order for feedback to be effective, we should be respectful and kind when giving feedback so we protect the feelings of the person who is vulnerable enough to accept feedback.
I also find giving feedback to be challenging at times. I feel like I am always critiquing myself, but it’s more difficult to produce and deliver feedback to other individuals. Whenever I offer constructive criticism, I make sure to also include what they well to balance it out.
My experience with receiving feedback has mostly been in an academic setting where teachers or peers review my work. I agreed with Sheila’s statement that feedback can be emotionally conflicting to receive. I’m always looking to improve my work, so I usually take feedback well and appreciate the ability to incorporate the opinions of others into my work. On the other hand, I might feel discouraged if I receive feedback that I don’t agree with or understand. I think a good way to make use of feedback is to look at your work or actions from a different perspective and try to understand how the adjustments could be helpful to those around you. Offering constructive feedback can be difficult, but I think that balancing positive and negative feedback while maintaining a positive attitude can go a long way.
I love what you said about using the feedback that others give to you and that looking at it from a different view really could help you understand what the feedback could do for you. Along with that you can look and see where they were coming from when they had given you the feedback and that can really help you see if you can agree with what they were saying too. I also enjoyed the end of your post saying that having a balance between the two will go a long way and I also think it will keep people motivated to keep going because they know they still have stuff to work on, but can also see themselves improving over time.
After watching this video, I had remembered a bunch of different times that someone had either given me some feedback or at least tried to. Some challenges I have had before when receiving feedback is one of two things. I either start overthinking it too much while they are telling me that I miss the point and miss what would actually help me improve or I listen to it and try to improve, but I end up debating whether I need to fix what was told to me the next day or two. I also see some challenges when trying to give feedback to other people, which I think is just the reactions that come with trying to give feedback. I don’t really have any good way of managing how I receive feedback. I think I receive a good amount of feedback on my work from classmates and professors, but I take the most amount of feedback that I truly use from my co workers and boss since they are trying to help me learn more about the field that I am in to help me further progress in that.
One think that caught my attention is when Sheila said that recieving feedback is an opportunity to see how the world perceives us. I used to be the type of person that would get offended by negative feedback because I thought that I was the one. But after being chewed up and spit out so many times in my life (particularly in junior hockey) that I have been humbled and I have learned to take feedback seriously and consider applying the changes that I should make based off of what the person was saying. As for giving feedback, the same principle that lead me to take feedback from others more seriously applies to this. All people are hypocritical and have their own flaws so when giving and receiving feedback, I think that of the fact that both parties can improve themselves in many ways but also that somebody else can have a better understanding of what it is that I or someone else could improve on.
37 thoughts on “CLOSED-DBQ 1”
I like how she said that feedback is an opportunity to see how the world perceives us. I usually have a hard time with feedback because immediately I will deny and argue it just because I am embarrassed to be performing poorly. However, after time passes from receiving feedback I often come back to it and analyze it in an honest and open way. I a, going to work on being more open immediately and seeing the feedback as an opportunity to better myself.
Hi Reese,
Great points-Sheila also mentioned that when feedback is provided, the receiver is in charge. How a person takes in feedback reflects upon them. Usually when I receive feedback, at first I instinctually shut down to avoid any emotional reactions, but as time progresses, I try to remember to remain open to the message. I usually require some recovery time as well to reflect and then make some corrections.
I agree! When taking feedback, I think it is almost better to not respond right away and really think about it. I think that gives me time to improve as much as I can.
I like how she said that statement too, although I also take it in a negative way. When someone gives me constructive criticism it is suppose to be helpful, but it has always made me feel bad about myself for not doing as well as I thought I did. I too need to work on being open to feedback and finding it as an opportunity to do better and not finding it negative.
I agree with this completely! I have also experienced difficulty taking others feedback and actually listening to it. I usually either don’t agree with it or I have too much pride to change it. I also just think the concept of feedback is difficult in general because everyone has such a different way of thinking that one idea may sound great to me and could sound terrible to someone else. However, I also want to improve on my ability to listen to feedback because I do agree that it is very important to be open-minded and if you never take other’s criticism into account then it is harder to improve your work.
When I was a credit union manager, I had to constantly provide my staff feedback on a daily basis in order for the operations of the business to run effectively. Positive feedback was easier to offer, but constructive feedback was extremely challenging for me, since I am a sensitive person myself, who is exceedingly aware of my many faults. To overcome this, I would provide my feedback to employees in a gentle tutorial manner, or use my past mistakes as an anecdote. In my career, I haven’t experienced a blind spot that I know of, but perhaps that is because I am so critical of myself. When I receive critical feedback, it does take me some recovery time, but I usually put together a plan on how to improve.
I totally agree. I usually have a hard time giving constructive feedback especially when someone is trying their best. I usually try and give it in the most easy way or do what you said and refer to a mistake I had made that is similar to theirs. I also think it is hard to find blindspots within ourselves, because by definition we are blind to it.
Hi Candance!
Well said, those are some really good examples/approaches to giving constructive feedback. I really identify with what you said about the personal challenge when it comes to giving feedback, often times I also feel like ‘who am I to talk?’ when it comes to evaluating someone else’s work. With that being said, I also feel like using anecdotes from one’s own life is such a powerful, and useful, tool for providing meaningful feedback.
I absolutely agree! It is hard to give constructive criticism sometimes, especially if you are someone who feels deeply for others. I like how you admitted that it takes time to recover and improve after you receive feedback because it does take time to improve yourself and people don’t usually admit that making these improvements takes time!
At work, I often have to give feedback to my co workers on how we can improve the safety of the local pools. When giving this feedback I get anxious. This is because I do not want to discourage them or make them dislike me. I try to push past this because this is my job and it is important. Sometimes I will ask my co workers if they can think of anything we can improve on to open this conversation. I think this helps them become more comfortable offering feedback for me. I think making feedback a two way street is very crucial to the performance of myself and co workers. I like that Heen mentions that taking feedback well and in a constructive way changes the way people see you. I find this very true and admire people who can do this and try to mirror them.
Fiona, your comments made me revisit my thoughts about the risks and anxieties on the part of the feedback provider as well as the receiver. Although the receiver is in charge with what they do with feedback, providing feedback can have real consequences and risk hurting someone’s feelings, so I can see why so many of us dread or avoid it. Both parties become vulnerable during this process. I think that feedback is easier to take if we remember that the provider (in most cases) means no offense and is offering help to improve. It’s difficult to keep that mantra in the forefront though!
I absolutely get not wanting to be disliked, especially in a work environment. I love that you make it a conversation rather than a laundry list of things to change. Being able to open the floor to everyone and come up with collaborative criticism that is genuinely effective is a great skill to have, even if there is some anxiety beforehand. Knowing that it is not a personal situation is so much more different than not taking it as a personal situation, and it can be hard to differentiate, but it seems like you are very aware of your work environment and how you all best connect, which is a fantastic step in the right direction.
Hi Fiona!
I really liked what you and the point you made about establishing reciprocal feedback. It can be so difficult to give constructive feedback to a person or coworker. Especially if it’s someone you do not know very well. However, once you build rapport with someone –like you said– it can not only become easier to give feedback, but it also makes it easier for them to give feedback to you!
How you said the “what we can improve on” versus you telling them exactly what you think is smart. It is like what she said when talking to others to say “what’s one thing I could do better”. Feedback is definitely a two way street and I think this is a good method to make that street less scary
I too find myself in this type of situation at work pretty often. I want others to know I mean well when I am giving feedback so that they like me and will want to use my feedback in a positive way. I like how you open up to your co-workers and ask if they believe there is anything that you can all do to improve your work environment. This is a good way to ensure that no one is getting singled out and you can all work together.
I relate to this a lot, when I worked in a kitchen there were times where I would have to give feedback to my coworkers as well because it was the sort of environment where if one person worked poorly it effected everyone else. I also had a very hard time with this because I was afraid that my coworkers would start to hate me! At the same time I agree that it is really important to also ask for their feedback so that everyones voice is heard and it makes working together way more bearable!
The most often time I am giving or receiving feedback is in an academic setting. Between my writing club and my classes, I often am giving and receiving feedback on writing. I’m not typically the advice giver nor the advice seeker, but when Heen was talking about how feedback is our relationship with the world, and how we do feedback as an emotional connection, it really resonated. Feedback is not just your boss asking you to sweep more, or your mom asking you to do more chores, it’s communicating with your partner, it’s personal. She also talks about letting yourself down and how much it can hurt to realize you are not living up to your own expectations. Feedback is such a tricky topic, and everyone has different communication styles that can make it really hard to give feedback to a wide variety of people. This is why I agree with her about receiving feedback as a skill. Learning how to take (well-intentioned) feedback is incredibly important for navigating the world.
Like you said feedback is very tricky since everyone has different communication styles. You could say the same thing to my sister and I and she will try to work harder and I will cry. This is because when I get feedback on something, it makes me realize that I was doing something wrong and it makes me shut down. If I were in a position where I had to give others feedback, like a teacher or coach, it would be difficult until you got to know peoples reactions. Yes, everyone should take feedback as a positive thing and an opportunity to get better but that is something that some need to learn.
I agree that feedback is much more than what we think. Feedback can even just be someone’s facial expression. I also feel like it is important to learn what feedback we should even take in before we learn to analyze and accept that feedback.
Being in a writing club seems like you do a lot of writing and giving feedback! It is good that you get a lot of practice with those types of things or assignments. I agree with you in believing that feedback is a skill, and it is very important in today’s society. In this world, if we can all work on the skill of positive feedback both giving and recieving, we can make a good change in the environment as we all come together.
I also believe that receiving feedback is a skill. I used to be the most stubborn, I’m right and you’re wrong type of guy when I was growing up playing hockey. I was once at a very high level and I had coaches telling me that I needed to improve certain areas of my game and that I need to get in the gym and start lifting weights to get to where I wanted to be. I never listened to feedback back then, but for the last few summers, I have been doing the things that coaches used to tell me to do and I have improved a lot ever since.
When giving and receiving feedback, I’ve always had more difficulty giving feedback, for sure. I’ve noticed this in writing workshops especially, it can be difficult to critique a peer’s work without feeling like you are criticizing the person by proxy. What Heen was discussing reminded me of a few terms I learned in a social psychology class I took the other semester. Namely, that there are two main construal: (1) we want to feel good about ourselves, and (2) we want to be accurate. However, these two construals often conflict. For instance, we want to give someone accurate feedback, but doing so might not make us –or them– feel good, and vice versa. Furthermore, when receiving feedback, we might opt to ignore the feedback. Ignoring this feedback can keep us from tarnishing our ego’s and maintain those positive views of ourselves. However, this can lead to inaccurate self-perceptions.
These are great points, and it’s really cool that you are bringing a psych perspective into this. I agree that these two construals can definitely be at odds with each other, and learning that there can be balance is an important step in developing feedback skills, both in giving and receiving. The ability to understand that accurate feedback can be delivered in a gentle manner, and that kind feedback may be inaccurate is really important to understand. It’s an important balance between the two, and being able to walk that line down the middle of accurate and fair, but still kindly worded and not-harsh feedback is ultimately the goal of developing these skills.
I really like how you got into the psychologic aspect of accepting feedback from others. Taking it can be really hard sometimes, especially when you are already proud of your work. Your comment made me realize how it is natural to push feedback away to protect one’s ego. It also made me realize that it is something everyone needs to work on to be professional. I think maybe this can be done by choosing our words carefully because the goal is not to crush someone’s ego.
Henry, your comment made me think a lot about the psychology behind giving feedback. I had never thought of the relationship between being kind and being accurate, and these two ideas do often collide during peer review. I also find negative feedback hard, because I would prefer to leave my peers feeling good about their accomplishments. Your point on ignoring feedback is powerful as well. I definitely tend to do this, especially if I worked hard on something and only received criticisms, people like to be rewarded for their hard work through praise and when that doesn’t happen it’s often easier to just ignore the feedback altogether.
I agree with how you have a harder time giving feedback than receiving it. Even when you know that the feedback that you are going to give someone is accurate and could help them, it’s always hard to think about seeing their face when you tell them that they need to do something better than they are currently doing it.
It opened my eyes when she said we’ve taught givers how to give feedback, but not how to receive it. Maybe that is why it is so much easier to give someone feedback than receive it. An example of giving feedback for me academically is in classes like this where I have to respond to my peers. Everyone is always super positive and supportive of each others work and it makes it easier to give and receive feedback. I think it will be difficult when this week we have to comment on speeches and say what they could do to improve their speech. This will be difficult because I don’t want to hurt anyones feelings. How I can manage this difficulty is to really highlight what they are doing well and what works for them. An example of receiving feedback I can think of in my personal life is when my grandmother says something as little as not liking the holes in my jeans. When I was younger, it use to make me really upset and it made me feel like she was mad at me for doing something wrong. In her eyes, all she was saying is she didn’t like my jeans because when she was growing up holes in your jeans meant you couldn’t afford new ones without holes and she just thought I needed new ones. Over the years, I have explained to her that this is a style of jeans now and she understands it more. Now if she says it, it doesn’t hurt my feelings and I just remind her that this is how jeans are made now and the conversation is over. If we were taught how to receive feedback at a young age, we could use it as a positive and agree or we could stand up for ourselves. Instead, we take it negatively and either say something back we will regret or get upset. I think I have taught myself over the years to not take feedback so personally and to use it to help better myself.
I definitely agree that giving feedback is more difficult than receiving it. I want to help others improve, but it’s hard to know what they might take personally. Relating to your example, I think most people receive negative feedback from people closest to them. It may be upsetting to hear at first, but it’s helpful to see it from their perspective like you did with your grandmother.
I believe feedback is a very important tool in life. Feedback can always be given, it is just a matter of the fact if an individual decides to use it and apply the feedback given. I personally like to both give and receive feedback often. Giving feedback can be really important, especially when things need to be done a certain way like at a job or something. I experience this almost every day. I am a manager at a part-time job and have to train all of the new people who get hired. It is really important for me to be giving them feedback on how they are doing so that they know what they should or shouldn’t be doing. I manage to give feedback in the most positive way possible to others. I do not want my feedback to get taken the wrong way or upset anyone. I try to do so by saying it in a nice tone and smiling. In a school setting, I think feedback is crucial as well. This helps individuals in a class given the same assignment sort of help each other out in potentially getting a better grade, by giving feedback on things that could be touched up if they decide to take it. I like to hear what my classmates have to say about my work because I find it helpful and useful.
I like that you give a lot of feedback to people that you are training at your job. I can appreciate it because I have a boss and co worker that is like you and gives me a lot of feedback on how I am doing and improving. It is very helpful every time because it gives me a sense of reassurance that I am on the right path. I also find a lot of value in learning and taking the feedback from them because they have been in my shoes before at a low level and really know what it takes to keep making those strides forward in their job.
I really like how she opened the topic of feedback up and mentioned how it is essentially our relationship with the world. When I think of feedback I usually think of getting a grade back on an essay or working in peer review groups but in reality we receive and give feedback on a daily basis. I’ve always hard a difficult time both receiving and feedback so I was not surprised when I heard that other people dreaded it just as much. For me, I just don’t like getting feedback because it stresses me out when people look at my work but I also have a hard time giving it because I don’t want to be too critical. I want to get better at both of these skills because it really stuck with me when she mentioned how those who go out and solicit negative feedback actually perform better in their careers and other aspects of life.
Giving both positive and negative feedback can be extremely challenging for many people (including myself.) I don’t typically focus on how my peers could improve, because I would rather focus on the positives. Giving constructive criticism is challenging because it forces me to focus on the negative aspects of that person’s skills. Giving feedback is a very important tool in helping you and your peers advance. In order for feedback to be effective, we should be respectful and kind when giving feedback so we protect the feelings of the person who is vulnerable enough to accept feedback.
I also find giving feedback to be challenging at times. I feel like I am always critiquing myself, but it’s more difficult to produce and deliver feedback to other individuals. Whenever I offer constructive criticism, I make sure to also include what they well to balance it out.
My experience with receiving feedback has mostly been in an academic setting where teachers or peers review my work. I agreed with Sheila’s statement that feedback can be emotionally conflicting to receive. I’m always looking to improve my work, so I usually take feedback well and appreciate the ability to incorporate the opinions of others into my work. On the other hand, I might feel discouraged if I receive feedback that I don’t agree with or understand. I think a good way to make use of feedback is to look at your work or actions from a different perspective and try to understand how the adjustments could be helpful to those around you. Offering constructive feedback can be difficult, but I think that balancing positive and negative feedback while maintaining a positive attitude can go a long way.
I love what you said about using the feedback that others give to you and that looking at it from a different view really could help you understand what the feedback could do for you. Along with that you can look and see where they were coming from when they had given you the feedback and that can really help you see if you can agree with what they were saying too. I also enjoyed the end of your post saying that having a balance between the two will go a long way and I also think it will keep people motivated to keep going because they know they still have stuff to work on, but can also see themselves improving over time.
After watching this video, I had remembered a bunch of different times that someone had either given me some feedback or at least tried to. Some challenges I have had before when receiving feedback is one of two things. I either start overthinking it too much while they are telling me that I miss the point and miss what would actually help me improve or I listen to it and try to improve, but I end up debating whether I need to fix what was told to me the next day or two. I also see some challenges when trying to give feedback to other people, which I think is just the reactions that come with trying to give feedback. I don’t really have any good way of managing how I receive feedback. I think I receive a good amount of feedback on my work from classmates and professors, but I take the most amount of feedback that I truly use from my co workers and boss since they are trying to help me learn more about the field that I am in to help me further progress in that.
One think that caught my attention is when Sheila said that recieving feedback is an opportunity to see how the world perceives us. I used to be the type of person that would get offended by negative feedback because I thought that I was the one. But after being chewed up and spit out so many times in my life (particularly in junior hockey) that I have been humbled and I have learned to take feedback seriously and consider applying the changes that I should make based off of what the person was saying. As for giving feedback, the same principle that lead me to take feedback from others more seriously applies to this. All people are hypocritical and have their own flaws so when giving and receiving feedback, I think that of the fact that both parties can improve themselves in many ways but also that somebody else can have a better understanding of what it is that I or someone else could improve on.