Hi Julia-I liked your presentation! As a dental hygienist student, I noted immediately how you used your unique expertise to establish credibility for your speech. You also had great eye contact with the camera! I loved the facts you presented in minute 7. My suggestion would be to just do a little organizational work to provide your speech with more impact. I believe that you can use most of your content, but I think you need to state the reason that the audience should care about your topic in the first minute or so of your speech, rather than provide a recap (as you stated around second 29-I don’t think I detected why I should care until 4:20-4:48). In my opinion, your speech would be easier to understand for the audience if you first present the issue, tell us why we should care, and then list the evidence proving why dental hygiene is important. That way, the speech is direct, sort of like a thesis paper. Perhaps you could include some impactful images of what might happen if we don’t practice good dental hygiene-they would emphasize your point and help to convince the audience to brush! I hope my feedback is helpful-great job so far and I can see the amazing potential in this speech. Keep up the good work!
Your speech was really well done, it was very obvious that you had rehearsed beforehand. You had great eye-contact with the camera, and I never even saw you glance down at any notes you might have had. With this, I think your use of the different toothbrushes was a clever way to add visuals into your presentation, they really added to your speech. One thing that could benefit from some adjustment is something Candace had mentioned; talking about why we should care earlier in your speech. Other than that, I think your speech is very close to being final draft quality.
Hi Julia, great speech. I obviously know that oral hygiene is important because like you said, it’s drilled into our brains. But I didn’t know most of those facts that you said which was really interesting to listen to. The thing that surprised me is when you said that not taking proper care of your teeth can lead to heart problems. That’s something that I never would have pieced together if not for you saying it so thank you for that tip. Good job.
This was a really captivating speech, I really liked how you used facts and statistics throughout your speech. As a listener this kept me engaged and invested in your speech. I think you did a great job of going from key points into the specific benefits of no-till gardening. If you could adjust one thing, I think enlarging yourself in the shot would be helpful. I’m not sure if this is possible on Zoom, but it might be something worth considering. Anyhow, fantastic speech, I really felt I learned a lot from this!
Hi Candace! I really enjoyed your informational speech. I think the presentation is succeeding visual-wise and factual-wise very well and I can see you have put a lot of effort and time into this. It’s kind of cool how you picked a topic you are actually working on in real life, so you were able to talk about it so easily. One thing that could. maybe improve would be like Henry said, having the introduction be a large headshot of you introducing yourself and the topic before you open up the visual presentation, then again at the end to say the conclusion. I think you can do it on zoom just by clicking the stop screen sharing button for a second, not exactly sure though. Overall nice job!!
Hi Henry-great content in your speech-I learned a lot of information about studying that I would have never known before! I liked your visuals-great job with that. Your delivery was wonderful too-tone and rhythm of speech. I think you could make a few tweaks that would have a massive impact. I didn’t really hear why studying is important, except that we could all benefit from studying more. Perhaps you could start with a current stat about college student drop out rates (explain how is that a problem/ issue) then introduce yourself as an expert (establish credibility), then say: these are the 3 top study techniques that all students should have (persuasive). You’d pare down some of the items in your content, but I think it would add some interest for the audience. Great job-I’ve enjoyed watching your videos over the summer. Keep up the good work!
This was an interesting topic! I had no idea about the issues surrounding salary cap circumvention. I think you gave some strong examples of this issue. With this, I think your speech could really benefit by beginning with a definition of salary cap circumvention. I was sort of confused what it was, until I slowly pieced it together. Also, I noticed your speech didn’t have the 2 visuals for your presentation. I think if you put some visuals on screen of the Stanley Cup, that would be a nice way to cover up the 2 visual requirement. Regardless, I liked your speech and it’s not far from a final draft version.
Hi Sam, thank you for your speech. I don’t know a lot about hockey, but it was enjoyable to hear you talk about a topic that you are so passionate and knowledgeable about! Your eye contact was great and your delivery was easy-going, which fit the topic for the speech. A couple of things that might put your speech at the next level. First off, I loved the introduction, I thought it was really good. However, you might want to explain how you came about this knowledge, maybe in the intro, to establish your credibility. It is obvious that you are very knowledgeable, but how? Also, around the first minute or so you referred to a rule and I wasn’t sure what the rule was, but about 20 seconds later you explained it. If you could explain it at that first minute mark, I think that would avoid some confusion for the audience. Perhaps firm up some of the dates or salary numbers, if you say “in October” vs. “I think it was October”, you enhance your image as a expert. One more thing-you’re convincing us that the rule is unfair, so maybe add in what you think the audience could do to fix it? Overall, great work-I’ve enjoyed watching your videos this summer-keep it up!
Hi Candace, good job on your speech. I think that you could start out with your face as the intro to the speech but using zoom is clever for the rest of the video. It’s always cool to see something new and I would have never thought of doing that. I also think it’s awesome that you don’t use shovels or tills to disrupt the soil or break the ground. Great stuff!
16 thoughts on “CLOSED-WEEK 5-DBQ 3-TEAM A!”
Hi heres my link!
https://youtu.be/sbv8Wpwti8U
Hi Julia-I liked your presentation! As a dental hygienist student, I noted immediately how you used your unique expertise to establish credibility for your speech. You also had great eye contact with the camera! I loved the facts you presented in minute 7. My suggestion would be to just do a little organizational work to provide your speech with more impact. I believe that you can use most of your content, but I think you need to state the reason that the audience should care about your topic in the first minute or so of your speech, rather than provide a recap (as you stated around second 29-I don’t think I detected why I should care until 4:20-4:48). In my opinion, your speech would be easier to understand for the audience if you first present the issue, tell us why we should care, and then list the evidence proving why dental hygiene is important. That way, the speech is direct, sort of like a thesis paper. Perhaps you could include some impactful images of what might happen if we don’t practice good dental hygiene-they would emphasize your point and help to convince the audience to brush! I hope my feedback is helpful-great job so far and I can see the amazing potential in this speech. Keep up the good work!
Hi Julia,
Your speech was really well done, it was very obvious that you had rehearsed beforehand. You had great eye-contact with the camera, and I never even saw you glance down at any notes you might have had. With this, I think your use of the different toothbrushes was a clever way to add visuals into your presentation, they really added to your speech. One thing that could benefit from some adjustment is something Candace had mentioned; talking about why we should care earlier in your speech. Other than that, I think your speech is very close to being final draft quality.
Julia, I also wanted to say I have had fun watching your speeches this summer! It has been great to see us all progress.
Hi Julia, great speech. I obviously know that oral hygiene is important because like you said, it’s drilled into our brains. But I didn’t know most of those facts that you said which was really interesting to listen to. The thing that surprised me is when you said that not taking proper care of your teeth can lead to heart problems. That’s something that I never would have pieced together if not for you saying it so thank you for that tip. Good job.
Here’s my link-have a great day!
https://youtu.be/7SqrHyqxVrU
Hi Candace,
This was a really captivating speech, I really liked how you used facts and statistics throughout your speech. As a listener this kept me engaged and invested in your speech. I think you did a great job of going from key points into the specific benefits of no-till gardening. If you could adjust one thing, I think enlarging yourself in the shot would be helpful. I’m not sure if this is possible on Zoom, but it might be something worth considering. Anyhow, fantastic speech, I really felt I learned a lot from this!
Thank you Henry! This is certainly a puzzle that I need to figure out-I appreciate your feedback!
Hi Candace! I really enjoyed your informational speech. I think the presentation is succeeding visual-wise and factual-wise very well and I can see you have put a lot of effort and time into this. It’s kind of cool how you picked a topic you are actually working on in real life, so you were able to talk about it so easily. One thing that could. maybe improve would be like Henry said, having the introduction be a large headshot of you introducing yourself and the topic before you open up the visual presentation, then again at the end to say the conclusion. I think you can do it on zoom just by clicking the stop screen sharing button for a second, not exactly sure though. Overall nice job!!
Thanks so much Julia-I definitely need to figure that piece out. I appreciate your help!
Here’s my link!
https://youtu.be/7TocKdcnJVA
Hi Henry-great content in your speech-I learned a lot of information about studying that I would have never known before! I liked your visuals-great job with that. Your delivery was wonderful too-tone and rhythm of speech. I think you could make a few tweaks that would have a massive impact. I didn’t really hear why studying is important, except that we could all benefit from studying more. Perhaps you could start with a current stat about college student drop out rates (explain how is that a problem/ issue) then introduce yourself as an expert (establish credibility), then say: these are the 3 top study techniques that all students should have (persuasive). You’d pare down some of the items in your content, but I think it would add some interest for the audience. Great job-I’ve enjoyed watching your videos over the summer. Keep up the good work!
My link:
https://youtu.be/Q4Gl0KUL85I
Hi Sam,
This was an interesting topic! I had no idea about the issues surrounding salary cap circumvention. I think you gave some strong examples of this issue. With this, I think your speech could really benefit by beginning with a definition of salary cap circumvention. I was sort of confused what it was, until I slowly pieced it together. Also, I noticed your speech didn’t have the 2 visuals for your presentation. I think if you put some visuals on screen of the Stanley Cup, that would be a nice way to cover up the 2 visual requirement. Regardless, I liked your speech and it’s not far from a final draft version.
Hi Sam, thank you for your speech. I don’t know a lot about hockey, but it was enjoyable to hear you talk about a topic that you are so passionate and knowledgeable about! Your eye contact was great and your delivery was easy-going, which fit the topic for the speech. A couple of things that might put your speech at the next level. First off, I loved the introduction, I thought it was really good. However, you might want to explain how you came about this knowledge, maybe in the intro, to establish your credibility. It is obvious that you are very knowledgeable, but how? Also, around the first minute or so you referred to a rule and I wasn’t sure what the rule was, but about 20 seconds later you explained it. If you could explain it at that first minute mark, I think that would avoid some confusion for the audience. Perhaps firm up some of the dates or salary numbers, if you say “in October” vs. “I think it was October”, you enhance your image as a expert. One more thing-you’re convincing us that the rule is unfair, so maybe add in what you think the audience could do to fix it? Overall, great work-I’ve enjoyed watching your videos this summer-keep it up!
Hi Candace, good job on your speech. I think that you could start out with your face as the intro to the speech but using zoom is clever for the rest of the video. It’s always cool to see something new and I would have never thought of doing that. I also think it’s awesome that you don’t use shovels or tills to disrupt the soil or break the ground. Great stuff!